Ditch the 'Shoulds' - Create Energetic Alignment

It's time to ditch the 'Shoulds'!

How many things do you do because you think you should?

The energy of 'should' is that nagging force behind all those things we feel obligated to do but don't really want to. 

This matters more than you may realise - energy is contagious. If the energy is off, you feel it. 

The energy of 'should' comes from avoiding the unwanted, driven by negative emotions, limiting beliefs and internal conflicts. It's rooted in a scarcity mindset - worrying more about potential losses or negative consequences than the benefits we could gain. This affects everything from our social media posts to our personal relationships.

The internal drive reveals the deeper reasons behind your actions - maybe fear, or a need to prove yourself.

Tune into this episode to learn simple ways to shift from 'should' to 'want to' and become empowered in your choices.

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Transcript

0:01

Welcome to the Vibrant Mind, Vibrant Life podcast. I'm your host, Sian Hill. My mission is to help you become the best version of yourself and live a life you truly love. I'll be sharing with you inspiration and practical tips on how you can use your mind to unlock your potential and become the vibrant person you were born to be. Hello and welcome to the Vibrant Mind and Vibrant Life podcast. Today I'm talking about energy, specifically the energy of should. Now should could also be labelled as have to, must, need to, kind of give it your own label, but it's an energy of this has to happen versus this is what I want to do, this is what I could do, this is what I may do. And the reason that I'm sharing this with you is because I sat down to record this podcast. Thinking I should record a podcast episode and I've hit record on the mic. Um, about five times, five different topics and nothing was flowing. The energy wasn't right for it. And when you show up with that kind of energy, that is the energy that flows through the very task that you are carrying out. And energy is palpable. So I could have turned up today with a fully scripted podcast episode. And if my energy wasn't in the place to deliver it to you, that's what you would have felt. That's the way that it would have been received. So I want to kind of break that down just a little to talk about what's actually going on behind that kind of energy and what you can do instead. Now the energy of should, it's usually driven by some form of negative emotions, some kind of limiting belief, some kind of conflict, something inside of you that isn't congruent. It's not in alignment. it may be that you carry out tasks from a place of lack, as in if I don't do this, then this is the consequence. So it's not really about what you gain from the activity, from the situation. It's more about what you'll lose if you don't do it. It's what you could call a scarcity mindset. It's coming from a place of lack rather than a place of abundance. The issue with it is that because energy is palpable, you know, you can walk into a room and get a vibe, you get a feel for what's going on in the room. When you see people's social media posts, when you watch videos, when you listen to stuff, you get a feel for for the person that you're engaging with. Whether you are face to face, one to one, in groups, or you're listening through a microphone, you pick up on vibes. Even if you're not sure why it is that you like somebody or why you don't like somebody, you're picking up on their energy. And if the energy isn't a match, then it doesn't work. It doesn't resonate. Now, if you want to join me to dive deeper into that, to reveal not just the surface level limitations that might be getting in the way of you achieving what it is that you actually want, but the deeper stuff, the things that predominantly drive your behavior that you may be completely oblivious to, then I invite you to check out my Reflective Alchemy program, which is starting in September. This is really for you if you have already been in the field of manifesting the life that you want for a while now, you've probably been doing the practices already. You've been getting some results, yet you're ready to take it deeper and understand why is it that sometimes these things work versus other times. and you want to really learn about how to. So, I'm going to be talking about how to create a body change at a much deeper level. So it's not just about that intellectual understanding of something. Like, yeah, I get the law of attraction. I get that I've got to surrender and allow things to happen and trust in the process. But how do I actually do that? How do I physically feel that trust within my body so that I can relax into the knowing that everything is working out? It's not just an idea and a concept. It's a living embodiment of it, creating that trust within your nervous system. And when you create that trust, when you stabilize where you are right now, then begin to expand your energy field to receive more so that you are open to those opportunities. You're open to the possibilities that are available for you right now. Yet, maybe you're overlooking them. Maybe you're not recognizing the blocks that are keeping the things that you desire at arm's length. It's like they're just out of reach. They're so close and you don't understand what the barrier is between them. If that sounds like something you would love to learn more about, love to work with me through, to embody, to practice, then check out the Reflective Alchemy program. Is the beta program, so for those of you who join me, You will be the founding members And because of that you'll get it at a much lower rate. So the program is only 397 For 12 weeks online where we'll be doing everything from breath work abundance alchemy hypnosis, powerful meditations, I'll be sharing with you questions to really bring to light what it is that you need to release. We're learning about universal laws not just the law of attraction, but the other laws as well that have an impact on your Manifestations and being able to put them into practice not just for the duration of the course But have them as something you can keep coming back to So every time you're up leveling, you have the toolkit to support you in doing that. I'm really passionate about this program. I'm excited for the results that it's gonna help you with, support you with, in that continual growth in your life. In all areas of your life. And there's also payment plans available. So if you want to spread the cost, you can do that. It will be going up to 9. 97 for the next program. So if you want to come join me, get it at 3. 97 whilst it's available. Okay, let's get back to the episode. So today with this podcast, my intention is to share with you value, to be able to help you to improve your way of thinking, to improve your life ultimately. And I show up in an energy of, oh, I have to do this. That's not really helping anybody. It's not helping me and it's not going to help you. Aside from being driven by the unwanted, the fear of the consequences, the, what you could call negative energy driving it away from what you don't want, the other thing is that sometimes people will set expectations of what has to happen without ever questioning it. Like, oh, I really should post on social media 20 times a day. Or, I have to do this in my business because that's what businesses do. and the really interesting part about that is that these beliefs that are created, these expectations that are often self imposed, are never questioned. Like, where did that information actually come from? Maybe you know, maybe it was a teacher, a mentor, a tutor, a course that said, this is what you should do. And yes, that is one way that you could do it. Yet the question that I invite you to begin to ask yourself is, what would happen if I didn't? Just sit with that and see what comes up now It can be that it brings to light some insecurities some beliefs that I may be limiting you that you weren't aware of it could highlight this, a need to prove yourself, to be accepted, to show that you're an expert, which could all be driven by not feeling like the expert, not feeling good enough, feeling like you've got to show up and show the world who you are, and that you know your stuff, so they know that you are good enough to work with. It may be something completely different. Yet, just asking yourself that, What would happen if I didn't? Is the world really going to collapse? And through asking it you can actually look at what are the consequences of this and have I made them up in my mind? am I doing things out of an energy of obligation versus an energy of desire? Let's put this in a different context to kind of highlight that energy that can be felt. Imagine two people in a relationship, and the one says to the other, we need to spend more time together. You need to start taking me out. You should want to take me out. You should do this. You need to do that. Whatever it might be. So, the partner reluctantly takes Mac for dinner. But they do it because they've been told that they should. They think, oh yeah, I have to do this, otherwise they're going to kick off. That energy at that dinner is going to be very different to the relationship and the person who is saying I want to take you out for dinner. You can feel it, you know the difference and it's the same principle in every area of life. So you can absolutely show up in that energy, or you could take a moment to reflect on, does this really need to happen? Or am I just telling myself that story? Alternatively, if you think right now, this is something that I have to do, as in, I've got to get my tax return in by a certain date, otherwise I'm going to get fined. So the consequence is the fine. I have to do it. I don't want to do it, but it's something that needs to be done. Well, again, the question is, does it need to be? It doesn't really need to be. You could just get fined. So it's not an absolute must. Yes, it will cost you if you don't, but you don't have to do it. Of course, the longer you leave it, the bigger the consequence becomes. But in those situations where you make the decision that I am doing this, take a moment to flip it in your mind and think, right, I don't have to do this, therefore it's a choice. I'm choosing to save myself the 100 fine. I'm making the decision to spend my time on this particular project. So how can I make it fun? Because it is a choice, so I may as well enjoy it. And maybe in that example, you could even say the hundred pound that I'm saving myself by deciding to get it in on time, I'm going to treat myself with. So doing the taxes is now a treat. I'm going to reward myself for being on time. And that puts a whole different energy behind it. It's like you're paying yourself to do the job that you thought you had to do when you didn't really. And to take it a step further than that, you don't have to be in business. You don't have to do your own taxes. That is a choice. You could absolutely go and get a job. So it is all a choice when we take responsibility for it, when we choose to take responsibility and then ask ourselves, is this really what I want? Is this what I desire to create? And if it is, then how can I take this task that I think is a should, is a must, and view it through the lens of a decision rather than a necessity. So today's podcast episode, I thought, I really should put a podcast out. Five attempts later, wasn't flowing, had nothing to say, wasn't in the right energy, and I thought, what would happen if I didn't? The truth is, absolutely nothing. If you weren't listening to this podcast, you would probably be listening to another one. I could have create all kind of meaning around it as well. Oh, I should be showing up. I've promised people that I will deliver and that means that I'm letting them down, that I'm failing. That is one story and it is just that. It's a story. It's the perception and the lens that I'd be viewing it through. It's not the absolute truth. The truth in my world and the way that I'm looking at this is that if I showed up in the energy of lack and scarcity and should is that the episode wouldn't be of any value anyway and that is not serving you and my intention is to support you and serve you in any way possible. And when I thought about that and what I was doing, this is the message that I need to share. And this is what I want to share. This is what I get to share with you in the hope that you'll take something from it and it will benefit you and help you begin to improve your life in some way. So that is all I have for you today. It is short, yet the most powerful ones often are. So just that flip, that question. What would happen if I didn't? And just see what comes up. Maybe it'll bring something to light. Maybe it'll begin to reveal to you things you didn't even realize were driving your behavior. If you have any questions on Reflective Alchemy, or any other questions. You're welcome to drop me an email, message me on Instagram. Otherwise, have an amazing week because you want to, because you choose to, and not because you should. I'll see you next time. You're welcome.